There’s a kink in my back…I just realized this putting away a blanket and wondered where this came from. Sitting down more carefully in the chair in the sunny living room (my office today), the next thought was, “Ah. Yoga. When have I last been to class?” And there you go.
Might also be why I became aware that I was grinding my jaw earlier today and sat and looked at my scribbled list of action items and couldn’t seem to land on any of them.
Settled in now, feet up, nice easy Cabernet, I decide instead to write and maybe the thoughts will start to come more clearly. Breathing easier, I start to go down the trail of how did I manage to skip yoga for several weeks and then – maybe because I’m nearing something like real emotional adulthood – I stop. Just don’t.
Are we ever positively motivated by thinking about our past failures? Can we start eating better if we get mad enough about how we’ve been eating for the past several weeks or years? Does it work to look at relationship failures of the past – or even yesterday – and find the motivation to repair? Does it get me out the door to yoga class simply because I’ve failed to get there for a couple of weeks?
I don’t think so.
Looking forward works so much better. I remember how grounded and strong and lovely I feel after yoga class. Forgetting yesterday – can’t be fixed and doesn’t really matter – I think about seven o’clock class with longing, not guilt.
This works! If I’ve had a stupid argument with my husband – I can focus on how that makes no sense and the negativity associated with it (and after thirty years together, none of them really make sense) OR, I can envision a happy face, a smile or laugh, the fun of being together and create that on our next interaction.
Sometimes, everywhere I turn there’s the opportunity for frustration. It’s a fact of owning a business that sometimes you can go all martyr on yourself – why is no one else as concerned about this as I am? Why are vendors not as responsive as I think I would be? Why do things take so much time? Why can’t everyone just get it right?
Other days, it’s just easy. Everything falls in place. People are productive. I get a little buzz of excitement thinking about the possibilities ahead.
That’s the power of vision. Seeing the happy face of someone you love who is so glad you shared a smile. The image of sitting on the yoga mat breathing away all the tension. Focusing on the pleasure of a healthy meal. Almost tasting that sip of wine.
A lot of people talk about no regrets – but try a little vision on for size. In yoga, we call it the third eye. Doesn’t really matter the name. Doesn’t have to be complicated, weird, or super spiritual. Just seeing where you’re going.
Just over a year ago, my dad had a pretty massive stroke. He lost the use of most of the right side of his body. His mind, completely intact, giving driving instructions and remembering minute details. But his arm, just hanging, limply, and the struggle to walk with mostly one leg were dominating his thoughts and ours. Once survival was clear, he focused on a goal – getting back to his home. That meant a lot of work, patience, fortitude – and vision.
Some days it seemed like a futile possibility. At eighty-one years old, he still looked young and I didn’t want to see him in nursing care with such a strong will and sharp mind. So we embarqed on a vision – focused on getting home. I pictured it. He pictured it. Set it in the ‘mind’s eye’ and didn’t give up.
He made it. And he’s still there. Nothing is like he ever thought it would be. But he sleeps in his own bed, grooms himself, and eats every meal with mom.
Most of us don’t have that kind of road to travel today – but don’t mess with what the mind’s eye can do. The power of vision – big, small, no matter – is limitless.